Emptiness inside of me

Emptiness inside of me

I feel that I have no soul, that I was born with no pumping heart, just some bones covered with flesh and outed with some skin…


Song of the day!

Lana Del Rey is currently my obsession, I love everything about her, Her voice is so fruity and soft spoken, her song are touchy and the lyrics are meaningful, and here is one of my many favorite song by her
Blue jeans, white shirt
Walked into the room you know you made my eyes burn
It was like, James Dean, for sure
You’re so fresh to death and sick as ca-cancer
You were sorta punk rock, I grew up on hip hop
But you fit me better than my favourite sweater, and I know
That love is mean, and love hurts
But I still remember that day we met in December, oh baby!

Dangit! Bad luck? even worse

My exam starts on 14th of October, the IGCSE exams which means I must be ready and well prepared, and that’s what I been doing for the past month, but then misery loves my company!! I stopped eating meat for about 1 year and more now, and fish, I don’t like eating fish and so I only eat chicken, no vege no fruits ,but then last two weeks I lost all my appetite for eating, considering that before I used to eat too much, I don’t even finish my plate now , just juice and corwason,then I started feeling  very tired and want to sleep all the time like  yesterday I slept 17 hours !,  then I have  cracks in  both the side of my mouth, I look pale, can’t concentrate in anything  and above all I have a non stop “period” it’s been there for exactly 28 days, I look really sick  and so I took a day off from school, went to hospital and discovered that I have IDA= Iron Deficiency Anemia, they took a sample of my blood and the doctor scolded me badly, she said in your blood there was no iron and no vitamin she said I could’ve died due to my very little intake of food,  and she told me to  rest for like a full week, but then  what about my exams , I am really scared!

“Dear darlin’, …

“Dear darlin’, please excuse my writing, I cant stop my hands from shaking, cause I’m cold and alone tonight.

And I miss you, and nothing hurt like no you, and one understand what we went through, it was short it was sweet we tried.”

June 2014 please come, I need you..

Just one year, one more year left for my freedom, one more year of studying in high school then I’ll be all done..

I think this is what keeps me going,, I can’t wait for next June when I’ll be done with my Igcse examinations, then I’ll travel to my home country once again, and I promise this time I won’t leave..

To be their and discover my world again.. Freedom cry is calling me and I will follow it’s path,, just a few more month till I’ll be over

please days pass quicky, in an eye blink I beg!!

“I wanted to w…

“I wanted to write about something other than love. Yet my freethinking pen seemed more adhered to my heart then to my head. A battle I never felt worth fighting.”

Sometimes you have to stop thinking and planning every little step, and just go in the direction your heart takes you.

The flaws of being a best friend…

They say true love is the biggest sacrifice. Something not many of us  has the ability to do, To walk away from the person you love, just to make them happy, and make them happy by letting them love and be loved by someone else… and not you.

He is my best friend since grade 1, we’ve know each other for such long time,  10 years maybe, we cannot keep a secret from one another, he know everything about me and I do so, But do I really know it all?

Next week will be his first college day, he is attending the college he always dreamed  of,  studying marine archaeology, when I knew I was so proud, his dream came true..but what about mine,? and today for the second time he faced me with the truth ,,which was

he was in love, me? no not with me, but with another girl he recently met and is attracted too, he asked me for advice related to what to do, what do girls like, and things like that, he had done that 2 years back with another girl he fell for but that time I had no feeling for him-best friends only- now it’s totally different, yes I fell for him, I don’t know how, and when he was asking me to help him, I just smiled and told him everything I would love to do together, and inside It was just killing me and tearing me into pieces..I think it’s just the price I pay for being his best friend,,,